Ask Amy: Accidental witness to a kiss wants to tell
I was worried that my friend would find out later that both I and her father knew, and that she would resent us.
The husband still has not told his wife, although he promised to. He tells me he has a lot of rage, that the situation is very delicate, and he is afraid if he tells his wife, the marriage will be destroyed.
I don’t want to be the cause of a total breakdown of the marriage, at the same time, I need to have an honest relationship with people I care about.
How should I proceed? Forgetting what I saw is impossible, of course.
– Accidental Witness
Dear Witness: On a very deep level, none of this is any of your business, and yet the principals won’t shut up about it, so with every entreaty, they are drawing you further in.
You are even being gaslighted into this statement: “I don’t want to be the cause of a total breakdown of this marriage.”
You haven’t caused anything. The husband’s marriage is his responsibility, not yours.
(I’m also wondering about how he hasn’t had sex with his wife for 12 years and yet has children young enough to require a live-in nanny.)
The next time he seeks you out for a confession, you should either tell him to kindly STOP TALKING, or just commence the process of blackmailing him (just kidding, folks), and get it over with.
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