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Ask Amy: A decade later, age becomes an issue

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

– Worried

Dear Worried: No, you should not respond. Taking at face value the details as you describe them, being in touch with this man would be like pressing “go” for a person who previously violated reasonable boundaries, engaged in behavior that sounds like stalking, and who seems capable of overall relentlessness.

You state that you were not working at the time of your brief relationship, so I conclude that you were not his superior at work. He was 23-years-old – over the age of consent. The 15-year-age difference between you two is immaterial.

It seems reasonable for a therapist to suggest that there was a power imbalance between you two, because many failed relationships are the result of a power imbalance.

Don’t read any #metoo allegations into this unless he explicitly makes them, and don’t apologize for participating in a very brief relationship that you broke off.

Preserve and print out any communication between you two.

 

Most of us have regrets from choices we made in our early 20s. You can hope that his therapy leads to insight instead of allegations.

Dear Amy: What should I do for an alcoholic friend who will not go to treatment because she has been there before and they just preach religion?

She is not religious at all.

Are there any resources for alcoholics that don’t preach religion?

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