Life Advice



Ask Amy: Disappointing daughter expects support

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My daughter just announced her engagement to her boyfriend, “Clay.”

They are both heavy pot users. Clay is also a convicted felon (for selling narcotics), a college dropout, and has psychiatric and physical health problems.

He picks up occasional work but cannot and does not support her. He can barely support himself. He has terrible hygiene.

Worse yet, he seems to be incredibly reckless. He has totaled three cars in three years.

My husband and our other children insist that I must support my daughter’s life choices, but I cannot bring myself to. I see only pain and poverty in her future.

We raised our beautiful daughter in an upper middle-class family, sent her to private college and on European trips.


We supported her 100 percent over the past year while she successfully undertook and excelled in a prerequisite program to start a three-year (online, part-time) master’s degree toward a new career.

She recently got a minimally-paying job and wants us to continue to help support her while she moves forward with grad school and the boyfriend.

Her siblings have said that if I don’t support her choices, I will lose contact with all of them.

I feel like I’m being blackmailed into watching a horror movie play out. My heart is broken. If I cut off my daughter financially, she’ll hate me.


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