Life Advice



Ask Amy: Widower worries about dating again

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I am a 73-year-old man. My wife died three years ago. This year would have been our 50th year of marriage.

Although we had many ups and downs throughout our marriage, we loved each other and raised two wonderful children who now have children of their own. (I also have a daughter from a previous marriage.)

I have many grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

I love and live for my family. I don't know what I would have done without them after my wife’s death.

Over 40 years ago my wife caught me kissing “Doreen,” my friend’s wife, while we were at a party. Nothing more ever happened. My wife never really got over the betrayal, but we agreed to stay together and work on our marriage. We also stayed friends with Doreen and her husband. He died 25 years ago.

Through the years Doreen and I have stayed friends through email, Facebook, phone calls, kids’ birthday parties, etc. My children know her and have always been friendly toward her.


Doreen and I have spoken on the phone many times in the years after my wife’s death (the "kiss" has never been mentioned). I’ve become interested in dating her.

I mentioned her to my son recently and he was very adamant that he did not want me to date her. He said his sister(s) agreed with him.

I don’t even know if Doreen would go out with me, but am I wrong to want her to be a part of my life? I'm afraid my kids will turn away from me. I think my wife told them about this long-ago kiss.

I was totally surprised by my son’s reaction.


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