Ask Amy: Group texts flummox family member
Dear Judging: You might set a better example for the others in your family if you didn’t also consistently describe them only by their body type.
I realize this runs counter to your overall point, but when another person calls you “skinny,” I think there is a possibility that she believes she is complimenting you.
That’s because in our cultural vernacular, “skinny” is, for many, still the ideal.
All the same, you don’t want people to comment on your food choices and your body shape – and you are absolutely correct to call out the double standard when it comes to comments.
Don’t assume that you need defending, however. You can take care of yourself.
If this happens again, you could say, “I have an idea – how about we all agree not to comment on each other’s food choices and body size? Let’s just enjoy our meal and the fact that we can be together.”
Dear Amy: "Disgusted" wrote to you asking what to do about her drunken friend.
VIDEOTAPE HER!
When she sees her own actions, mouth open, drooling food down her front or falling down drunk, it may be just the wake-up call she needs.
It worked for a friend.
– Been There
Dear Been There: “Disgusted” had already shamed her friend. The friend had already been to rehab. I don’t think she needed a “wake-up call” as much as clear boundaries, TLC, and professional help.
========
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2022 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
