Ask Amy: A father ponders parental possibilities
Dear Amy: I have an issue that I need to bring to you.
I always felt that my daughter, “Carol” (from my first marriage) isn't really “mine.”
She was the product of a wife that cheated on me, and although my wife always swore that she was mine, I find that highly unlikely.
I feel that Carol knows this, but we are both uncomfortable about bringing that up.
I was involved in her upbringing and accepted her as mine in her earlier years, but we just grew apart.
I see her on Facebook from time to time and although she is now a grandmother, she seems unhappy — in a hidden way.
Her mother died 20 years ago.
I think I have located her reluctant, biological father, but I don't know if I should get involved because she may shun him, or she may be hurt because it's been 50 years, now.
A DNA test will be the proof and I am scared that (1) this whole thing will be about a father that doesn't want her (2) I may freak out and find that after 50 years she was mine all along.
I wouldn’t want her to hate both men involved.