Ask Amy: Teen struggles with besting her ‘bestie’
Discontinuing the friendship is not an option, so how should I go about this?
– Lonely at the Top
Dear Lonely: It is challenging to be bested by your bestie, and surely you can see why “Maria” finds your excellence annoying.
Does this mean that you need to stop excelling, or to alter your own plans? NO!
Girls sometimes have a way of diminishing or apologizing for their own strengths and successes in order to protect the egos of their friends. I hope you won’t do that.
On the other hand, if you are being obnoxious about your supremacy, then find another way to express your enthusiasm, while understanding that some things that come easily to you don’t come easily to others.
Maria was honest with you, and you seem to have responded defensively: “If I can’t talk about competing with you, then what are we going to talk about?” That’s a cop out, and I bet you’re more creative than that.
You can be supportive in the name of friendship, while still trying your hardest to win. Cheer for her to do her best, just as you will do your best.
And yes, it can definitely be lonely at the top, but frankly, if you learn and accept this at age 14, you’ll be a winner in that regard, as well.
Dear Amy: I'm conflicted. I am a single mom and relationship-wise have had very bad luck.
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