Ask Amy: Wife can’t mourn until she forgives
I believe that you would find some liberation now if you worked your way toward forgiveness – forgiving him for his transgression, as well as yourself – for holding onto this so tightly.
We humans are saddled with complication and frailty. We do hurt one another. The ability to forgive is such a gift – I hope you can give it to yourself, now.
A grief group or therapist could help you to sort this out.
Dear Amy: My wife and I have been married twice to each other. Our first marriage lasted for 28 years. We remarried each other three years ago.
The reason for the first divorce was her cheating on me with my best friend.
This went on for years, and I tolerated it until my kids were grown before I moved on.
After two years being single, I decided to go back to my wife because my daughter was getting married, and I always wanted a family life.
My wife is again cheating — at least four times that I know of.
She is a really nice person otherwise and we never fight.
I am a healthy person, sexually and mentally, but the mental abuse of this cheating is not easy on me.