Ask Amy: Forms of address evolve all the way to M
I’ve mentioned that spending time with family should be important, but sports always take precedent. Maybe sports are a convenient excuse?
I feel like she could make it happen if it was a priority. While I want to stay involved, and I want to be involved as much as I can, this arrangement feels off balanced and my efforts aren’t reciprocated.
– Always Shows Up
Dear Always: You can try to communicate with your sister about this, but – speaking as a very involved aunt, myself – your sister will likely never reciprocate, even if you have children.
My overall point is that you and your sister have different wants and needs, and different ways of being in a family.
Being an aunt/uncle is a true joy, if you’re oriented that way (and you obviously are). As the kids grow, you will have the opportunity to forge fun and special bonds with them.
But a child involved in three sports will always have a conflict. I don’t see this as an excuse so much as a flaw in our youth sports’ programs and how they fail families.
In my view, you should actively engage your sister more in ways to stay connected and helpful to your parents.
Dear Amy: Regarding your inadequate suggestions to “Sad and Alone,” whose father had recently died, after my sons died, Christmas lost everything that had made it fun and meaningful.
Then one year my daughter, some friends and I collected gloves, hats, blankets, and wool socks, and went downtown where there were people living on the street.