Life Advice



Ask Amy: Dormant affair triggers obsession

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

This feels worse than a divorce. I am jealous.

His life went on, while I am miserable.

Sometimes, I will write an email to his wife, letting her know about our affair, but I don’t send it.

I check on him (and her, and their family) all day on social media.

Are there resources to help me with my obsession?

I am really not in good shape.


– Devastated

Dear Devastated: I’m going to sidestep a specific reaction to your long-term extramarital affair, except to say that the end was inevitable.

Once the pandemic interrupted your physical contact, he went back to his wife.

You need to go back to therapy. If necessary, find a different therapist. Be completely candid in your sessions.


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