Ask Amy: Ex’s reappearance brings on anxiety
You could say, “Well, we’ve walked down memory lane. That was nice. Now, what’s next?”
If he says, “I just want to be friends. I want to make amends,” you can say. “You’ve done that, and I accept. We’re good!”
He may imply (but not say) that he wants to rekindle the relationship.
If so, you – still in charge – will say, “I need to think about it. Don’t call me, I’ll call you.”
You could take this as the closure you’ve been denied over the last 20 years. Don’t fade away. Consider walking away. And if you want to give a relationship with him another try, do so with your eyes wide open.
Dear Amy: I follow the letters in your column regarding gender nonconformity with interest, including the recent series, beginning with “Auntie's” refusal to use her teenage niece's preferred they/them pronouns.
I took many decades to come to terms with the fact that I am transgender.
I spent decades in and out of therapy and on antidepressants, trying to align my soul with the body into which I was born.
But now, in my 60s, I've come to terms with who I am.
My lifelong depression lifted, and now I have genuine friendships because it is me who is relating to people, rather than the persona that I created.