Ask Amy: Hairstylist wonders if she’s 'worth it'
Dear Irritated: Your son seems to have handled this whole situation badly (at least when it comes to you). My theory is that his fiancée is driving the wedding train. Your son is a passenger, and you and your wife are standing on the platform, watching it slowly pull away from the station.
You were not “auditioning.” Your son is.
He seems to be trying to hew to an old tradition, where the man approaches the woman’s father, “asking for her hand.” This is why her parents knew about this before you did.
This tradition leaves out the groom’s parents. You will discover that many wedding traditions seem to be completely bride-centered.
This is why couples should reframe these traditions to be inclusive.
Dear Amy: “Guilty” described her desire to go on a cruise with her husband, but both of them were afraid of how her sister, a widow, would react.
I was deeply offended when you described this sister as “an emotional vampire,” just because she wants to be included.
– Upset
Dear Upset: I described “Guilty’s” sister that way, not because she wants to be included, but because she had this couple tied up in knots with fear about telling her that they wanted to have a vacation on their own.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2021 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
