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Ask Amy: Sister’s annual gift cards just don’t cut it

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

I don’t want to pester her (the celebration is in a few days), but eventually I do want to get on the phone and somehow clear the air.

I can absolutely understand why they might be upset and hurt.

How can I have a productive conversation here?

– Self-Assured but Guilty

Dear Self-Assured: View any photos (if possible) on social media, and anchor yourself to the realization that you are not at the center of your friend’s wedding celebration.

You’re disappointed. She’s disappointed. As adults and best friends, your relationship should be able to absorb and recover from disappointment.

 

Call her – don’t text – and if she doesn’t pick up, leave a message: “Your celebration looked so beautiful. I’m so incredibly sorry I couldn’t be there. Call back when you get a chance – I’m dying to hear about it.”

If she expresses her disappointment, listen, and respond with a (non-defensive) apology.

Dear Amy: I am fine addressing someone whatever gender-identification they prefer. What I object to is the use of "they" as a singular pronoun.

If people don't wish to be identified as male or female, a new word needs to be added.

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