Life Advice



Ask Amy: Homemaker’s devotion is waste of a good career

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

I tell them to keep their hurt and anger at home in “storage,” so that during family events they can focus on fun and celebrating togetherness.

At Thanksgiving dinner, we each share what/who we're thankful for.

At Christmas, we have the same requirement – to leave our “issues” at home.

I believe that we can choose to be above the squabbling for the holiday season and behave kindly toward one another.

– Cathy S., in California

Dear Cathy: I think of this as an easy-to-follow instruction manual for a truly great holiday gift: A positive focus on relationship-building, versus trotting out old wounds.

Dear Amy: I’m responding to the letter from “Totally Confused Mom,” who has two adult daughters who won’t speak to her, claiming that they had terrible childhoods, and that one had suffered “trauma.”

You totally sided with these faux-victims. There is an epidemic of young people who, facing any challenge or adversity, claim they were “traumatized,” and blame the parents.


I can’t believe you fell for this.

– Outraged

Dear Outraged: If parents don’t expose and prepare younger children for struggle, setbacks, and failure, then as young adults they might perceive challenges as trauma.

On the other hand, any parent who believes they’ve provided their children with an ideal childhood needs to dig a little deeper.


(You can email Amy Dickinson at or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)

©2021 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.




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