Life Advice



Ask Amy: Emotional affair strains long marriage

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

He behaves like nothing happened.

Should I bring my concerns to him?

I don’t want to nag him, but should I give him an ultimatum?

I don’t really want a divorce, but don’t want to be his second woman either.

How do I move forward?

– Hurt and Betrayed


Dear Hurt: Of course your husband doesn’t want to discuss this with you! Once he had been found out, his preferred reaction was to put his fingers in his ears and say, “La-la-la-la – I can’t hear you.”

Talking about this episode would be extremely uncomfortable for both of you – and it is human nature to avoid this discomfort.

Please, don’t use the word “nag” to describe your right to express yourself.

I agree that he needs to “own” this. Yes, you deserve an acknowledgement and apology, as well as proof that he has stopped this contact.


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