Ask Amy: Emotional affair strains long marriage
He behaves like nothing happened.
Should I bring my concerns to him?
I don’t want to nag him, but should I give him an ultimatum?
I don’t really want a divorce, but don’t want to be his second woman either.
How do I move forward?
– Hurt and Betrayed
Dear Hurt: Of course your husband doesn’t want to discuss this with you! Once he had been found out, his preferred reaction was to put his fingers in his ears and say, “La-la-la-la – I can’t hear you.”
Talking about this episode would be extremely uncomfortable for both of you – and it is human nature to avoid this discomfort.
Please, don’t use the word “nag” to describe your right to express yourself.
I agree that he needs to “own” this. Yes, you deserve an acknowledgement and apology, as well as proof that he has stopped this contact.
...continued