Life Advice



Ask Amy: Emotional affair strains long marriage

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My husband of 50 years has had an “emotional affair” for a year with an old flame from college.

They have exchanged very intimate emails and texts, which I discovered by accident. When I confronted him, he denied that it is an affair, but just two old classmates exchanging messages.

When I confronted him about the intimate nature of these emails, he told me that he only wrote those things to make her feel good.

In one email, he told her that he didn’t marry me for love but to have a family, and that she is his soulmate.

He wrote that he can’t be with her because he doesn’t want to hurt others.

Of course, I am devastated. This is all I think about. The things he wrote to her have wounded me.


He reassured me that he loves me and that he doesn’t want a divorce.

We have two adult children, and grandchildren.

He agreed to stop the affair but didn’t confirm to me that he has done so.

The thing that bothers me the most is that he has never apologized to me. He has never owned his actions.


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