Life Advice



Ask Amy: Found money raises privacy questions

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Partners definitely have the right to privacy, but the top of (versus inside of) a bureau is not a private space.

Your husband may continue to aggressively evade your question and refuse to tell you about this cash. If so, you should table the topic, double-check any joint accounts or retirement accounts, and make sure your own finances are secure.

Dear Amy: A few months ago, my sister-in-law and her boyfriend announced they were taking my in-laws to the Caribbean on vacation.

They did not invite my husband and me to join them. (My husband’s family is small – it is just him, his sister, and their parents.)

My husband was nonplussed, but I felt it was rude to plan a family trip and not invite the whole family.

No one in the family was shy about planning the trip in front of us and texting about how excited they were to go in our family group chat, which I felt was extremely insensitive, given that we weren't included.


Once they were off on the vacation, our family group chat was flooded with messages coordinating logistics, dinner reservations and plans to meet up, which on top of being annoying was another reminder of how we'd been left out.

During the trip, the boyfriend proposed to my sister-in-law and the whole family (minus my husband and me) celebrated in the Caribbean together.

Am I wrong to feel offended that my husband and I weren't included in the vacation and celebrations?

– Left out in New England


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