Ask Amy: Catfishing expedition doesn’t hold water
Dear Amy: I learned that my boyfriend might have cheated on me.
The story he told me was that a friend of his saw a female (that the friend used to date) on a dating site.
The friend wanted to get revenge on this ex, so he used my boyfriend’s old profile from the dating site to catfish her.
However, from everything I saw, it seems like my boyfriend was not the middleman, but the primary person.
All the messages between the two were from my boyfriend, and the messages from him sounded just like him, not like his friend.
My boyfriend and I got into an argument, and he left the house.
At the same time he was arguing with me, he was texting the girl, wanting to see her.
He went to her house that night and when he came home, he was acting differently.
I was in the dark about all of this at the time, but later I spoke with the female involved and she told me that she and my boyfriend had in fact slept together.
He has adamantly denied this, saying that he only went to her house as a bet from his friend, the one who was using his profile on the dating app.
I’m trying to move forward from this situation, but I feel like the answers I was given weren’t good, and I don’t know if I believe my boyfriend.
I need a second opinion: How does this situation sound to you?
Do you think he cheated?
Should I put this behind me, move on, and accept his explanation?
– Wondering and Worried
Dear Wondering: Rome's Bocca della Verità, or “Mouth of Truth,” is an ancient marble mask, which according to the popular mediaeval legend will bite the hand off of anybody who has told a lie.
The idea is that you place your hand inside the mouth of this large sculptured mask, and then let the magic of the Bocca della Verita be your lie detector.
(You might recognize this monument from the wonderful Audrey Hepburn/Gregory Peck movie “Roman Holiday.”)
Let me put it this way: If your guy had placed his hand inside the “Mouth of Truth” while spinning his entertaining tale (about his friend using his account to catfish a woman), he would be left holding a bloody stump.
So yes, put this behind you. You also might want to put him behind you.
Dear Amy: While I was browsing Facebook the other day, I came across photos my niece “Sandy” had posted of her enjoying her baby shower “with friends and family.”
I was completely stunned, as she never informed me about the event, even though I thought we had a good relationship.
Her dad (my younger brother) passed away 11 months ago, and now it seems that she feels that I am no longer family.
She is an adult, and of course can choose who she wants to include in her life.
Should I bother to try and keep this relationship?
– Sad Auntie
Dear Sad: You are having a somewhat nuclear reaction to this slight.
Yes, you should try and keep – and grow – this relationship.
Contact your niece (not on social media).
Say, “Hi, I saw on Facebook that you had a baby shower. It looked like fun! I’m so happy for you and excited that you are growing your family. I want you to know that I very much want to continue to be a part of your life.
“I miss your dad so much, and I’d be honored to step up and try to carry some of his legacy forward. Please accept my love and congratulations, and I hope we can keep in touch.”
Dear Amy: I’m responding to your provocative letter from “Got to Go in L.A.,” who asked the timeless question: In a gender nonspecific bathroom, how should a user leave the toilet seat?
Down, Amy, always down. At home or out, if there is a lid on the toilet, put it down before you leave. Many public toilets don’t have lids, but if not, the seat itself should always be down.
Thank you for giving your readers the opportunity to weigh in on the right way to do things!
– Down Danny
Dear Down: Hundreds of responses. Hundreds of “right” answers with plausible justifications – for both up and down.
I agree with you about the lid. That way, the “next” user, no matter the gender, has to “do something” in order to use the toilet.
©2021 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.