Life Advice



Ask Amy: Catfishing expedition doesn’t hold water

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

“I miss your dad so much, and I’d be honored to step up and try to carry some of his legacy forward. Please accept my love and congratulations, and I hope we can keep in touch.”

Dear Amy: I’m responding to your provocative letter from “Got to Go in L.A.,” who asked the timeless question: In a gender nonspecific bathroom, how should a user leave the toilet seat?

Down, Amy, always down. At home or out, if there is a lid on the toilet, put it down before you leave. Many public toilets don’t have lids, but if not, the seat itself should always be down.

Thank you for giving your readers the opportunity to weigh in on the right way to do things!

– Down Danny

Dear Down: Hundreds of responses. Hundreds of “right” answers with plausible justifications – for both up and down.


I agree with you about the lid. That way, the “next” user, no matter the gender, has to “do something” in order to use the toilet.


(You can email Amy Dickinson at or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)

©2021 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.




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