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Ask Amy: Estranged daughters mess with Christmas

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

However, two of my closest friends have gotten very absorbed in their own concerns, which are admittedly serious problems.

That being said, every time I see them or communicate with them they unload all of their problems on me, sometimes going into great detail over every little thing that's going wrong — for hours on end.

How can I kindly let them know that occasionally I would like to be asked how I'm doing, or maybe just have a conversation on the lighter side.

I'm happy to help and I'm happy to listen, but I'm not their therapist.

How can I re-establish balance in the relationship?

– Out of Balance

 

Dear Out: The way to say things kindly is to say things kindly, and to do so deliberately and thoughtfully before you LOSE IT and say things you cannot take back.

Try this: “I hope you feel supported and listened to. I genuinely care! But I also have worries, concerns, and also joys I’d like to discuss. Can you make some space for me? It would mean a lot.”

Dear Amy: “Upset Neighbor” was upset because he wasn’t notified of a neighbor’s death.

I’m glad you pointed out all of the challenges to surviving family members when a parent passes away.

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