Life Advice



Ask Amy: Nuptials in Belize won’t be a breeze

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Am I in the wrong? Am I the cheap one for taking the money?

– Who’s Cheap?

Dear Who’s Cheap?: I’m not sure if “Brian” is cheap, but he is definitely passive-aggressive.

His gesture was not sincere – and he expected you to realize that and refuse his money.

When you didn’t read his mind correctly, he accused you of being inconsiderate.

If Brian had joined you, not consumed any food or drink, and offered his $20 as a generous gesture, you should have thanked him and told him, “Oh no, I’ve got this.”

Definitely give his $20 back. After that, you’ll have to decide how revealing of his character this whole episode has been.

Dear Amy: Like “Decluttered,” my family grew weary of material gifts we did not need, so I suggested to donate the same money (per person) to a charity each Christmas. We have been doing that for 20 years.


Decluttered could ask the kids to pick a charity to donate to, and suggest relatives make a small donation to the child’s special cause in lieu of material gifts.

– Brian, in Windsor

Dear Brian: I love this idea.


(You can email Amy Dickinson at or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)

©2021 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.




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