Life Advice



Ask Amy: A granddaughter requests gran’s bequest

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My grandmother recently died.

For me, she was like my third parent while growing up, because I spent so much time at her home.

From what I understand, there is no will. However, there are a couple of items from her home that I would like to have for sentimental reasons. (Specifically, a clock, and ashes from her dogs that I grew up with).

I don't know the most appropriate way to ask either of her sons about the items. A big roadblock is that I'm not actually blood related to my grandma or her children (we are related through her 'later in life' marriage to my deceased grandpa).

She and I loved each other, but she did tell me there was some animosity/jealousy with her blood relatives because of how close we were.

I don't want to offend anyone, but I would really like these items before they are possibly sold or just thrown out.


What can I do?

– Missing my Grandma

Dear Missing: I appreciate that you have pointed out the intense and loving connection that can develop between step-relatives. It is a vital connection, and I’m very sorry for this loss.

However, there is a whiff of entitlement in your query, and this is something you must shed if you are going to ask for material goods that belonged to your grandmother.


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