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Ask Amy: Opposite sisters don’t attract, but repel

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My sister and I grew up in an abusive home and have had issues to work through.

We’ve had to cope with anxiety, learn to forgive, and learn what is healthy in relationships.

We have very different ways of handling conflict.

She attacks verbally, using put-downs and a barrage of lectures on why she thinks I deserve whatever wrath she is dishing out.

When she does this, I tend to shut down.

Because I tend to avoid arguing and work through my issues with others in a calm way (sometimes choosing to distance myself from drama), my sister and I are like oil and water.

 

We have forgiven one another and moved forward several times, but her recent group text, attacking family members while our father was hospitalized, showed me that she hasn’t changed.

I’ve pulled away and now she has confronted me for my reaction.

She says I’m judging her and that I’m a liar for not telling her immediately why I pulled away.

I don’t want to fight, so I don’t confront her.

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