Ask Amy: Neighbors not notified about a death on the street
I did not react well. I don’t yell, but I said: "This topic is really not OK, and in the last year, you have not asked about my life a single time. You realize that your drinking has made it very hard for me to move on, right? Because all anyone wants to do is to go and get a drink, and now I can't do that without having a panic attack."
I was out of line. I apologized. The only defense I can muster is that in an eight-year relationship, she never wanted to take accountability for anything she did, and I wanted, one time, for her to acknowledge what she did to me.
But my reaction seemed vindictive.
She didn't acknowledge it, and in the next breath asked me for a large amount of money. I hung up on her.
That leaves me trying to figure out how to move forward.
Dear Stuck: I don’t necessarily enjoy contradicting your own opinion about your actions, but you were not out of line. You were not vindictive. You stated a clear boundary and stated the impact of your ex’s drinking on your life.
I’d say that’s a very good start.
In the future, do not apologize for stating your own needs.
Do not pursue a further friendship.