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Ask Amy: Memorial service brings on acute anxiety

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Is it the same as if I had food on my face, or if my pants were unzipped?

Should I be embarrassed, but grateful to have this pointed out?

I am about to give away all my black tops.

– White on Black

Dear White on Black: When people do this, they are not doing you a favor; they are treating their own discomfort — by removing something that distracts them and pulls their focus away from you.

You might never feel this impulse to smooth, straighten, or pluck (nor do I), but I agree with your instinct that doing so is something of a compulsion for people who cannot seem to resist.

Dear Amy: I’d like to thank “Old Veteran” for expressing the same discomfort I feel when people thank me for my military service.

I don’t regret being in the military but, given that the war I served in (Afghanistan) didn’t seem to lead to anything positive for anyone, I don’t think anyone has anything to thank me for.

 

– Another Old Veteran

Dear Veteran: I’ve had a huge response to the heartfelt letter from this Vietnam veteran – most of it compassionate and understanding.

Regarding your own service – it seems that people know how to start wars, but don’t know how to end them.

Your willingness to serve inspires gratitude, regardless of the outcome.

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)

©2021 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

 

 

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