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Ask Amy: Where there is a will, there is no way

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Upset: Based on what you say, these siblings are NOT dangling money in front of you and your husband. They are simply choosing to keep money that was left to them.

I do not think it is particularly “natural” for siblings to share an inheritance with an estranged family member, especially if your husband had completely exited from a relationship with their father. So yes, you are being naïve.

You might also rethink your definition of “greed,” as it applies to this situation. Greed is wanting what others have. That definition might apply to you.

Presumably, these siblings endured their father’s mental illness and suicide from a closer perspective than your husband did, and whether their motivation was a financial or filial one – they may feel that they’ve already paid dearly for every penny they’ve inherited.

Even though it is the opposite of your stated intent, you and your husband seem to be letting his father’s money control you.

It’s time to let go.

 

Having a family member die by suicide initiates a kind of grief like no other; my recommendation would be for your husband to talk this through with a counselor. Coming to terms with his own confusion, anger, guilt, and longstanding heartache would be the way for him to become “whole.”

Dear Amy: I am going through my second divorce. My wife wants this – I don’t.

We have only been married for seven months and she has told me she loves me but is not “in love” with me. I don't want to lose her and our three-year commitment to each other, but she will not talk to me (or a professional) about her issues.

What do you think I can do to save my marriage or possibly rebuild the love she once had for me? We have no biological kids together, but we have three teens in the house: her teenage daughter and my two sons. Her daughter is kind of a wild child and my boys are grounded.

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