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Ask Amy: New friendship takes an asexual turn

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I'm at a complete loss right now.

I am an asexual person in my late-30s. I am in a five-year relationship and am currently in school pursuing a degree.

About six weeks ago, another adult classmate of mine started pursuing a friendship with me (he has a wife and children). We've become really close during that time.

We talk about our feelings, hopes, dreams, fears, etc., and there has been an amazing level of what I thought was honest and healthy communication.

Recently, he caught me off guard with a conversation about how "this relationship will never be anything but platonic" and "we can't be anything more than friends."

I know. I was never after anything else.

 

Amy, I feel like I just got dumped and that really stinks because I've been very careful to monitor my friendship with him and not ever push it because I didn't want him getting the wrong idea.

It just hurts, because I don't make friends easily, and I don't know how to fix this.

I don’t even know if I can fix it.

I guess I just need a little help seeing the light. My head knows that I didn't actually do anything wrong, but my heart isn't getting that message.

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