Ask Amy: Not-yet-divorced dad wants to put a ring on it
I was constantly fielding calls and texts from his five siblings, their spouses, their kids and his parents.
My husband assured me that they just wanted to coordinate their outfits to the wedding colors.
It seemed odd. Yes, they arrived dressed like members of the wedding party, but it didn’t really bother me.
Over the years I've noticed that at every wedding, my large in-law family dresses to match the wedding party. At times they've been confused for members of the bride/groom’s family or wedding party.
I've asked about it and they seem to think it's basic wedding etiquette, even to the point of acting like I make horrendous wedding faux pas when I don't.
I feel it's a bit rude or presumptuous to wear the wedding colors when you are not in the wedding (unless specified in the invitation).
My sister recently got engaged. My mother-in-law is already asking her about her colors. My sister has asked me to address the coordinating issue with them, so they don't all show up looking like members of the wedding party.
How do I approach this subject with them? They are all convinced that it is abysmally rude NOT to coordinate their attire with the wedding party. Is it?
– Clueless Guest
Dear Clueless: The reason wedding guests sometimes inquire about wedding colors is actually the opposite of what your in-laws seem to think: It is to avoid looking like members of the wedding party.