Ask Amy: Adults want to gently nudge niece into the world
– Almost Empty-Nester
Dear Almost: You should involve your niece in discussing plans, without applying too much pressure. “The great big world” might be a little too big for her. If she likes her job, she might prefer to stay close by, but the ultimate goal would be for her to live more independently, outside of your immediate household.
College is not for every young person. It sounds as if she has made progress in the time she has been with you, and the stability of your household has given her time to mature.
Ask her how things are going for her, overall. Does she like her job? Is she making friends? Help her to see the very real ways that she is making progress.
If she is not currently seeing a therapist, you should ask if she would like your help in finding one. Now that her life is more stable, therapy would help her to stay on track.
A licensed social worker (LSW) can coach her to develop reasonable and defined goals and check her progress.
Dear Amy: My son recently remarried.
We came up with a plan for me to continue living with him and his wife after the wedding, if I occasionally help out with my 4-year-old granddaughter, “Kristin.”
It seems like I am watching Kristin more and more often.
They don’t take her out much. They will ask her, “Do you want to go with us?”
...continued
