Ask Amy: Husband’s surprise offspring upends marriage
Of course your friend is thrown off! Anyone would be, but if she truly believes that this makes her own wonderful life a lie, that’s a deeper problem.
As one partner of a successful long-term marriage, she could be encouraged to see this as one more life-challenge to encounter alongside her husband.
Surely they have tackled difficulties, losses, reversals, surprises and uncertainties together before this.
Don’t try to “convince” your friend of anything, but do remind her that this situation, which landed on her doorstep so suddenly, will actually unspool and evolve gradually.
She needs to come to an understanding on her own that, put into a larger perspective, this mainly reveals everyone’s humanity.
Are she and her husband working through this with the help of a counselor?
You should suggest it.
Dear Amy: I'm a father and a grandfather to a 17-year-old grandson. I am his virtual instructor during the pandemic.
I coached children's sports as my daughter grew up, and I'm currently a 27-year certified basketball official.
I say all of this to let you know I have a real love for children and want to always be a positive presence in their lives.