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Ask Amy: Generous father plans a blues cruise

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

I would feel terrible uninviting the best friend. My daughter might refuse to come. Other family members might drop out.

On the other hand, all my children are adults, so my relationship with my girlfriend should be a priority for me, right?

– Generous to a Fault

Dear Generous: You are not married to your girlfriend. She is not contributing money toward this extravagant and generous trip. If your girlfriend is differentiating between “family” and “other,” does she alone get to decide who falls into what category?

None of the burden of planning or paying for this trip falls to her. Some people might have offered to include this “best friend” only if the friend paid for her own passage and expenses – but you aren’t doing it that way. And, as it is your dime, you get to choose how to spend it.

Quite literally, your girlfriend’s only job is to show up with her children, accept your generosity, and enjoy herself. You should tell her that the offer of this trip is still on the table, and you hope that she and her children will accept it, but that the final decision is hers to make.

 

Dear Amy: Just before the pandemic, I moved into my very first home.

I quickly bonded with my wonderful neighbors.

I am a great cook, and so is one neighbor in particular.

We began trading food; really wonderful food, but she is very heavy handed with pepper.

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