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Ask Amy: Denying child’s identity is a rejection

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My child came out to my husband and me as non-binary, using “they/them pronouns and a new name.

I am struggling to change the way I address them, but I am honestly trying.

My husband is not.

My husband flat-out told them that he doesn't care if they identified differently; he will continue to use their birth name and pronouns.

My husband says he doesn't care what other people call them, and that there is no negative connotation meant on his part, but I know it is and will be taken that way.

I told him that my child may refuse to interact with him if he refuses to address them in this new way, but he says he doesn't care.

 

His partial acceptance confuses me on what to do.

Based on previous discussions, I believe my child will keep in touch with me, but not my husband, but I always said I would leave my husband if he showed hate to a child of mine.

This situation is confusing, because this isn't rejection – it’s just not really acceptance.

Should I leave him?

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