Ask Amy: Family should explore legacy of trauma
What should I do?
— Torn Cousin
Dear Torn: I think you should tell a version of this story that illustrates the extreme challenges your elder family members faced, but only include details that are verifiable, respecting the privacy of any living elder family members who were primary victims.
You can use old photos to try to build a portrait of the trauma and displacement that your family (and many other families) endured during and after the Depression.
Overall, your family history shows the heartbreaking side of the nature/nurture debate.
I assume that subsequent generations of your family have recovered (somewhat) from this displacement and trauma, but for some of your cousins, this story could help them to understand the temperament and behavior of some of their elders, who were not able to nurture them — because, tragically, they weren’t nurtured.
Dear Amy: I dated a divorced man for 26 years, and I’m still kicking myself. There was a 22-year age difference between us.
I thought we had a wonderful relationship.
We didn’t live together (thank God) — he had his place and l had mine.
Long story short, he passed away five years ago.
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