Life Advice



Ask Amy: Daughter wants needy mom to back off

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I am a 26-year-old married woman who is struggling to tell my mom to back off!

My husband (of three years) and I love to waste a weekend or two a month just being alone together, without the chaos of friends or family.

My mom calls me every weekend and asks me to come over. On top of that, she texts me at least once a day telling me how much she loves me, using my childhood nickname.

My mom has always controlled my life. She had me when she was 19 and has mentioned that she “lived through me” when I was growing up.

My parents have been married for 26 years and I have four younger siblings. What does she need from me? I am struggling to take control of my life.

My husband tells me to stand up for myself, but I don’t want to explode on my mom when she is simply seeking affection. If it makes her happy, shouldn’t I just suck it up? I am going insane.


When we see them, she’ll call me later that day and say she didn’t have enough time with me and that she can’t wait to hang out again.

Her clingy behavior increases after we spend time together.

I wouldn’t dare tell her that it annoys my husband, but it does put some stress on my marriage.

I just want to be alone with my husband for now and for everyone to just get the heck out of our way.


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