Ask Amy: Parents ponder COVID risk to their kids
– Not a Willing Volunteer
Dear Not Willing: You are not being selfish with your time. You are making choices about how you want to spend your time. It is your right, and duty, to make these choices.
As long as you are more concerned about the possibility of your husband “looking bad” than you are about your own autonomy, then you will continue to be pulled into doing things that you claim you don’t want to do.
Your friends are right. All you have to do is to exert your own right to say “no, thank you.” Doing this even once might train your husband to discuss his plans with you first.
Dear Amy: I wanted to write in with encouragement to “You’re My Mom,” the adoptive mother who felt insecure about her son’s new relationship with his biological family.
As an adopted child myself, I struggled for years deciding whether to look for my bio family. I love my parents and never felt anything to be missing in my life, but eventually became curious and did connect with my birth father via DNA testing.
I wondered and worried how my parents would react.
They couldn’t have been more supportive. They told me they’ll always be my parents but that they are so happy I have even more family around to love me. My birth father and siblings haven’t replaced my family, but they have added to it. I affectionately call them “bonus family” (a term my mom suggested)!
I hope this mother knows that she can never be replaced. If her son is comfortable with this, perhaps she might consider meeting and getting to know his biological family as well, to feel included in the experience and wholly part of his enlarging family.
– Adopted
Dear Adopted: This is a lovely tribute to all of your parents.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2021 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
