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Ask Amy: Family rift calls for a firm boundary

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I'm trying to learn how to set boundaries, but still be respectful and not resentful or hateful.

I recently had a huge rift with my mother concerning our family’s decision about whether our teenage child should attend in-person school. My husband, child and I made the decision together, and we are good with it.

My immediate family is happy with this decision, but my mother is not.

My whole life, she has verbally abused me. During my childhood, she was physically abusive, as well. When I was a teenager, she attempted suicide and is now allegedly in recovery for her alcoholism.

I've attempted to have many chats with her about boundaries. I always get told that I'm crazy and I need counseling.

My mother also currently refuses to talk to my aunt because they view things differently. She butts into everything and most recently has weighed in on our decision regarding schooling. She has completely ripped my daughter apart.

 

I know what I'm doing is the best decision for my child and for her emotional and physical well-being.

Why do I still let this woman take hold of me and destroy everything?

She has destroyed so much. She was such a terrible parent, but do I owe her a “re-do”?

Should I cut her off completely?

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