Ask Amy: Elder parents’ views cause concern

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on Aug 26, 2021

In the past when I have visited, I have found myself defending whatever is on my plate from their “curiosity”.

We like cats but are not comfortable visiting her and especially eating at her house. I have told her we are not a fan of the cat free-for-all, but she just dismisses our concerns and insists there is nothing she can do about it.

I’ve expressed how I feel, but she doesn’t seem to care. She will be upset that we aren’t planning a visit, however.

What should we do?

– Cat-astrophic

Dear Cat-astrophic: Your sister already knows how you react to the presence of these cats, but the cats live there, and you don’t.

You might split the difference by planning staying at a rental apartment during your visit. Then you could entertain her.

Dear Amy: I liked your thoughtful and well-researched response to “Anonymous in NC,” about her crush and romantic attachment toward her therapist.

However, I feel you omitted an important point. She states about her therapist, "She has even said to me that she considers me a friend, as well as a client."

From where I stand, the therapist should not have told her that. This confession to her client that she thinks of her as also a friend is an open door to invite the client to step into a blurry relationship.

I'm surprised that wasn't stated somewhere in the lengthy ethics rules you looked over.

Concerned

– Dear Concerned: It was not stated in the ethics rules I quoted from in my response, but a therapist’s bid toward friendship is absolutely a breach of the boundary – and I should have noted that.

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)