Ask Amy: Elder parents’ views cause concern
Help!!
– Dumbfounded Daughter
Dear Dumbfounded: One way to cope with this tension and pressure would be for you to deliberately reduce the material that triggers your reaction. Create a “rule” on your email in-box where you direct email from your folks’ accounts directly into a folder. You could then scroll through during a time when you’re prepared – or ignore these emails altogether.
“Hide” their posts on Facebook (or better yet, disengage from that platform entirely).
Breathe through your personal contact with them. Be firm, consistent, and deflect: “Dad, I’m not going to discuss this with you. Let’s find a different topic, OK? Tell me, did you and mom play golf last weekend?”
Rinse, repeat, and don’t bite the hook.
At their age and stage in life, they will need a healthy, balanced, and calm person in their corner.
Dear Amy: My sister, who lives in a city about two hours flight time from us, has been pressuring my husband and me to visit sometime soon, or to commit to staying at her house this coming Christmas.
The problem is that she allows her two cats free run of her house. Basically, it is straight from the litter box to any surface that strikes their fancy.
They are welcome to jump up on the kitchen counters, hang around the stovetop while she is cooking, (in hopes of swiping food from a pan), or simply curl up for a good long nap on the dining room table.
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