Ask Amy: Grandchild would like to reject grandparents, for cause
Fed-up Granddaughter
Dear Fed-up: I intuit that you want to separate from these people amicably because on some level you are afraid of them, and – given what you know about them — your fear is rational. You are wise to pay attention.
You don’t mention how your mother has managed; she may have good advice for you.
If you don’t want to confront them, you can simply back away. Stop visiting. Don’t contact them, and if you do respond, you could try saying: “I’ve never liked the way you’ve treated me. Now that I’m an adult, I’ve decided to back away.”
Your grandfather’s sexual abuse and their shared cruelty has created a generational and painful legacy.
I can’t say what is best for you, but you and your mother might eventually be inspired to confront them directly. It would be wisest to do this with the guidance and support of a compassionate therapeutic professional.
You and your mother would both benefit from the information about sexual violence offered by the National Sexual Assault Hotline at RAINN.org. Text and phone counseling are available 24/7.
Dear Amy: My teenage daughter had one of her longtime friends over.
My 19-year-old son walked into the kitchen to microwave his coffee, and even though he was mere feet away from my daughter's friend, he did not say hello to her.
I think this is very rude.
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