Life Advice



Ask Amy: Grandchild would like to reject grandparents, for cause

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I am 20 years old. I have never really had a relationship with my grandparents. I see them two or three times a year, usually on birthdays and holidays.

They are not nice people. Both are narcissists. They constantly make me miserable.

They pick on my relationship status, my schooling, and what I want to do with my life.

My mother no longer sees them, but they still reach out to my brother and me. My brother and I have visited them (without our mother) for the past few years.

I always knew they were abusive to my mom growing up. But I just recently found out that my grandfather sexually assaulted my mother from the age of 9 to 12, only stopping when there was a risk of her getting pregnant.

My grandparents still call her when they need to blow off steam and they yell, gaslight and degrade her.


My grandparents have never done anything physical to me. They just pick on me relentlessly.

I no longer want to have any contact with them. I cannot support their abuse and terrible treatment of my mother.

But I have no idea how to separate amicably, especially since my brother, aunt and cousins still see them.

How do I tell them I don’t want to see them?


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