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Ask Amy: Spouse worries about husband’s drinking

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I have been married for 45 years to a man who has a severe drinking problem.

It wasn't this way in the beginning, but over the years his drinking has progressed into alcoholism.

I have tried to help him in every way I know. He went to rehab last winter but didn't follow through with any of the support that was offered to him.

Now he is drinking again and although it is not as bad as it was, he is headed down that road once more.

I want to leave him if he won't quit drinking, but I am afraid of what he will do if I leave.

To make matters worse, he was recently diagnosed with cancer.

 

What should I do?

– Worried

Dear Worried: You might need to make a stark choice between the possibility of your husband self-destructing in your absence, or of him self-destructing in your presence.

What I’m trying to express is that you are not the answer to his existential question. You do not possess God-like powers to save him.

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