Ask Amy: Homeowner confesses to out-of-control messes
Dear Amy: My big old house is pretty much a mess.
We bought it "as is" with the plan to completely renovate, but never did.
My husband died decades ago, the kids moved on, and now I'm a widow living alone in this huge three-story house that never got fixed up.
My hubby and kids left a lot of stuff behind, and I don't feel like fighting about it.
The kitchen is from the ’40s, the carpeting needs replacing — with lots of spots from the cat puking. The whole place needs painting inside, there is junk everywhere (good junk: collector's stuff, not trash), and shelves and shelves of books.
I am also a landlord and I have multiple apartments to tend to, repair and upgrade. I’m busy working with handymen, landscapers, and tenants.
Keeping a lovely home is not on my priority list, nor in my budget.
The rentals come first, and the cobbler's children have no shoes.
My dearest friends and family understand about my limited capacity to entertain in my home, especially those people who live in messes too. But for those with whom I am trying to cultivate a friendship or those who have a really beautiful home and have never been to my house, I cringe at the thought of reciprocating their hospitality. It's like opening Pandora's box, and I am embarrassed.
I'm not lonely; I'm really overwhelmed with things to work on, but I also believe it is important to cultivate friendships. I know I need to do something other than work on rental properties.
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