Life Advice



Ask Amy: Client’s crush on therapist creates dilemma

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I’m a heterosexual woman.

Over the course of my life, there have been a couple of instances where women were attracted to me, but when they realized what was happening, I think they got scared and backed off. I didn’t stop them.

I’ve been seeing a therapist for quite some time, and I realize I’m attracted to her.

I know you will say this is transference, but I don’t think so.

My therapist and I are both in our 70s and we have a lot in common.

She has even said to me that she considers me a friend, as well as a client.


I do obsess about her, wishing we could do things together outside of therapy. She knows there’s something I’m obsessing about, but I told her I couldn’t talk about it with her.

It is absolutely driving me crazy, but I can’t help what I feel.

I don’t know what to do.

I can’t stop therapy because I would miss her so much, and there are some other things I’m trying to work through. But the more I see her, the more it hurts to know that I can’t see her outside of the office.


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