Ask Amy: Ex does not want to make up after breakup
– Disappointed on the Cape
Dear Disappointed: Your question is a little unclear about what the actual issue is. If your SO (significant other) doesn’t want to be referred to as your “girlfriend” because she doesn’t want for people to see that you are in a committed, exclusive relationship, then that’s a serious relationship question that you two should discuss.
However, I can completely understand why a 54-year-old woman would not want to be referred to as a “girlfriend.” Far from being flirty and youthful, the term “girl” actually makes some grown women feel ancient (I assume being referred to as a “boy” might strike some men the same way).
I used to take issue with the term “partner” to describe a committed love relationship, but I’ve come around. Would this work for you two?
Dear Amy: I can completely relate to “Not Savvy.”
I too once had regular interaction with a person I did not like, but I couldn’t determine why I felt that way.
One day he said, "You don't like me, do you?"
I paused and plunged in with, "Yes, you are right, and I am sorry. I can't figure out why I feel this way. It makes no sense, you are great, yet I can't get past my feelings.”
It turned out to be beneficial for both of us, as we now "knew" each other and didn't have to pretend. In fact, this mutual honesty made us more comfortable.
– Tam
Dear Tam: You showed a very “savvy” side.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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