Ask Amy: Ex does not want to make up after breakup
You should encourage your children to maintain whatever relationship they want to have with their other parent, but you should also explain to them that being someone’s child is vastly different from being someone’s ex. Your kids might find an understandable equivalent if you asked them if they would enjoy bringing their most painful breakup partner to a fun dinner with you and your spouse, all in the name of celebrating a happy reconciliation.
Your children need to understand that the way things are now (both of their parents in your separate spheres) is as close as you are ever going to get to being that “big happy family,” and that as far as you are concerned, that’s a pretty good result.
Always maintain a careful equanimity concerning your ex, but don’t cave. Manipulators love getting a rise out of people (it’s ammo!).
So steady on, no wobbles.
Dear Amy: My girlfriend (age 54) thinks it childish to introduce me as her boyfriend, and she doesn't think I should introduce her as my girlfriend.
I've met all her family and most of her friends, and she has met mine.
We take many trips together and stay at each other's houses weekly. We are intertwined quite nicely and communicate beautifully.
I totally disagree with her regarding this manner of address.
It's certainly not a deal breaker, even though it offends me.
I'd respect and would like your opinion on this matter.
...continued
