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Ask Amy: Flight or fight? These passengers choose both

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Testy: Your seatmate failed to “read the room,” but some travelers are nervous or excited and choose to distract themselves through chatter (I have now trained myself to respect my seatmate’s privacy until at most 10 minutes before landing).

Your seatmate also failed to read you, as someone who knows how to smile and act politely without actually being polite or kind.

You have the right to think whatever snarky thoughts you might have, but when you commit them to writing, your thoughts will take on a life of their own.

No, she should not have read your text, but she did read it. (I’ve seen this referred to as “shoulder surfing,” and you’ve probably done it, yourself.)

Your question to yourself should be: “Should I have written the text in the first place?”

If your middle school child reported to you that she wrote a snarky note about a fellow classmate, but the classmate intercepted it, read it, and responded badly, would you encourage your child to justify her own actions the way you are doing?

 

Generally speaking, if you feel bad about your own behavior, then go ahead and lean into that feeling, because there is a high likelihood that you behaved badly.

If you want to move through a world that is gentler, more respectful, and kinder, then the better behavior might as well start with you.

And – while I’m at it – let us acknowledge the often thankless role of flight attendants, who are there to see to our safety, but end up using their valuable time and energy negotiating this sort of nonsense.

Dear Amy: I suppose this is a minor matter, but I’ve lost touch with some very close friends during the pandemic. Honestly, I was just feeling down (fortunately, not sick). I wouldn’t describe it as depression, but more as just not having any energy.

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