Life Advice



Ask Amy: Couple copes with texts and subtexts

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Even telling a woman, “You don’t look pregnant” when she says she is pregnant is rude.

– Tired of Questions

Dear Tired: I agree with you that pregnancy is a tender topic. It can be a physical and emotional minefield for women (and couples).

Any woman who has attempted to walk through the world while hugely pregnant will notice how her private physicality seems to become fodder for public comment. I once had a stranger follow me down the street, saying “It’s a girl!” (and, to be fair, they turned out to be right).

But – to answer your question – some people will never stop treating pregnancy and childbearing as a fascinating and public topic.

Let your own feelings about this be your guide when dealing with others.

Dear Amy: I really liked your answer to “Not Savvy,” the woman who disliked her husband’s friend, but didn’t know why!

You chalked this up to “bad chemistry,” and suggested that she say as much to the guy.


I had a similar situation. Just awkward chemistry with someone. The tension made things uncomfortable until I finally just admitted that I didn’t like him very much, but didn’t know why! He accepted this well, and it definitely helped.

– Been There

Dear Been There: It turns out that: “It’s not you, it’s me” is not just a cop-out.


(You can email Amy Dickinson at or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)

©2021 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.




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