Life Advice



Ask Amy: Couple copes with texts and subtexts

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

How can I get him to stop?

– Tested, not Texted

Dear Tested: If your husband has been cruising dating sites while married to you, and now has a habit of testing your trust by feigning ignorance about how to send or reply to a group text, then I’d venture an educated guess and say that there is no way for you to get him to stop being himself.

I wouldn’t go so far as to call this “emotional cheating,” because he doesn’t seem to demonstrate an emotional involvement with “Patsy,” and to be fair — she sent the photo and text to him.

If your description is accurate, this seems more a case of a guy who perhaps gets a little charge out of connecting with women who are pointedly not you. Furthermore, this is a guy who doesn’t mind that his behavior makes you feel off-kilter and insecure.

Rather than search for ways to change him, you might look for changes you can make. If you change, everything around you will also shift.


Dear Amy: When will people realize how rude it is to ask a couple if they are pregnant?

It is no one’s business why a person is choosing not to drink or smoke anymore, and if it is because of pregnancy, then they may not be ready to discuss it!

People outside the relationship may not have any clue if there has been infidelity, a miscarriage, an early pregnancy that the couple may or may not be planning, or something completely different.

Pregnancy is a private matter. It is also rude to ask people when they plan to have kids.


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