Ask Amy: Husband has a ‘mommy’ problem
– C
Dear C: The way I read this, your husband isn’t necessarily asking your sister to visit his mother, but he is expecting her to “ask” about his mother.
His need to have your sister inquire about his mother speaks volumes about his own guilt and anxiety.
Obviously, your sister would not have been visiting a nursing home during the pandemic. But she may now feel guilty about not visiting because of the pressure your husband has placed on her because of her physical proximity to his mother. It’s possible that she doesn’t inquire about “Jane” because doing so might bring forth pressure to visit her.
The next time your husband asks you about this, you could deflect a little by saying, “Honey, we all care about your mom. Let’s go down and see her this weekend.”
Your husband could resolve some of his anxiety by visiting his mother as often as possible.
Dear Amy: Responding to the letter from “Upset Guest,” who was offered ZERO hospitality after being invited to stay in a friend’s home, I think it’s important to point out that being a good host is a learned skill.
I grew up in a terrible household. I honestly had NO idea how to show love and kindness toward other people.
Later in life, I watched how my beloved mother-in-law treated guests, and as an adult, I learned how to be hospitable.
– Grateful
Dear Grateful: Hospitality is the act of offering comfort and care toward others.
I’m so happy your mother-in-law gave this to you.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2021 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
