Ask Amy: This woman’s place is in the home – alone!
I also highly recommend taking a mini-break and going to a nearby spot for a day and overnight by yourself, if at all possible. You will return feeling so much better – and you can hope that your husband will note and appreciate the positive impact on you.
Overall, it seems that your husband could do more to step up at home.
If he has the energy to volunteer outside the home, then why can’t he do more to ease your domestic burden?
Dear Amy: "Wondering" was unsure if she should tell her friend that the woman’s husband was having an affair. I appreciate she gave the husband the opportunity to tell his wife first, but he didn't.
It's interesting that people who possess such knowledge feel they will "destroy someone's marriage" or "ruin someone's life" if they share such information.
My husband lived in the basement, emotionally left our family, and basically ignored us (my two young boys and me) for five years.
He barely worked, destroyed our finances, and will never have to pay back the tens of thousands of dollars he "borrowed" from my parents.
I thought he was depressed. I didn't know that he was having an affair with one of my friends.
Mutual friends were very suspicious of their relationship but chose not to tell me. Yes, it would have been hard to hear the truth, but having the knowledge of his affair would have saved me from five years of him draining our bank accounts, five years of emotional hell, and five developmental years of my boys' lives. One son, now 18, told me, "You didn't want to leave Dad because you thought your boys needed a father, but we didn't have a father." Ouch. Telling someone about their spouse's affair could actually be life-giving. It is not a happy marriage and you are not the one destroying it, the cheating spouse is.
– Healthier Mom, Healthier Kids